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In some cases, it might even cause the initial conflict to flare up again. You concede the conflict, which allows you to “be the bigger person,” so to speak. Because this kind of conflict involves facts, you can often resolve it pretty easily.
Fragile: Handle with Care and Understanding
Let’s unpack what conflict avoidance really is, why it happens, how it affects your relationship and mental health, and how to learn healthier ways to cope and connect. This is how conflict avoidance can feel, and it’s more common than you might think, especially in close relationships. Culture can also play a significant role in a person’s tendency toward conflict avoidance. For example, individuals socialized as women are often taught to be agreeable and prioritize promoting peace and harmony above all else.
- Non-confrontational personality traits can be challenging, but they’re not set in stone.
- Arguing about the same thing over and over can have a serious impact on your relationship.
- Resentment and frustration build under the surface, and the relationship starts to feel strained.
- Rather than listening to respond, you must listen to understand the other person’s point of view.
Remind yourself that you cannot control other people
Pretend you are television’s Mr. Rogers if you need a behavioral model. Acknowledge the other person’s feelings without passing judgment on them. Even if you don’t feel it, try to look calm and self-assured. Restaurants often train servers to crouch down to the level of the customer to help build rapport. Encourage the person to be seated, but if he/she needs to stand, you can stand up, too. Remember, we can’t approach others as if they are like us, even Twelve-step program though there is a natural inclination to do so.
Try anxiety-management techniques during conflict
Conflicts are uncomfortable, but learning how to move through this discomfort is a powerful skill that can improve your self-esteem, mental health, and relationships. If you feel overwhelmed by your fear of conflict, professional support can make a profound difference in strengthening your well-being. It’s important to remember that seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness, but a courageous step towards personal growth. Therapists and counselors can provide invaluable support and guidance in navigating the challenges of overcoming conflict avoidance. After all, two people can’t be expected to agree on everything, all the time.
In its simplest terms, conflict is a disagreement between two or more people. It can be about facts or feelings, a point of view or values – just about anything that people might disagree on. After all, conflict tends to be messy and difficult and, sometimes, even hurtful.
Maybe your stomach churns, your chest tightens, or your mind races when something needs to be said, and it feels too risky to say. While constant fighting is definitely not healthy, a relationship without any conflict might seem too good to be true. If you notice little improvements in your conflict management journey with your partner, please go Alcoholics Anonymous ahead and celebrate. If you’re in the midst of an argument and things get too heated, ask your partner if you can take a break and resume the conversation at a later time. Increasing your self-esteem by focusing on your strengths, practicing positive self-affirmations, and taking time for self-care can make you more confident about approaching conflict.
However, with the right strategies, you can navigate these differences in a way that strengthens your relationship rather than harms it. The strategies for overcoming conflict avoidance offer hope and practical tools for those ready to break free from avoidant patterns. From cognitive-behavioral techniques to assertiveness training and mindfulness practices, there are numerous paths to developing more constructive conflict management skills.
When coming up with a plan of action, all parties must learn to compromise. You must put aside your differences and prioritize the solution. Therefore, it’s essential to realize that your point of view may not be accepted entirely or at all. Now that everyone has given their point of view, all parties need to agree to find a solution. This will only occur when people work together to resolve the problem at hand. The best way to deal with conflict is to face it and face the problem.
How do you handle conflict at work?
It can be challenging to communicate with someone who avoids conflict. Approaching conversations in a gentle and empathetic way may be helpful. Couples or family therapy could be beneficial if it seems impossible to effectively communicate on your own. While setting boundaries can be challenging for a person who tends to be conflict-avoidant, it is possible to do so by starting small. For example, at first, you might practice saying “no” to tasks you don’t want to do or aren’t able to do in small, low-stakes ways or with people you know will be receptive. Over time, you may develop the habit of engaging in these practices more frequently.